Skinny Love

The second of dose of Andrea's lyrical engagement. Again, take a look and have think about the issues raised. Comments welcome.

I’ve always enjoyed listening to Bon Iver’s music since being introduced to it a few years ago. His powerful vocals and simplistic musical beauty are matched lyrically by countless stories that cannot fail to capture the listener’s imagination.

Skinny Love from the album For Emma Forever Ago is a whirlwind of exploding emotions.

Echoes of desperation and longing for a love that seems all but doomed to failure resonate powerfully throughout this song. Its opening cry, ‘come on skinny love just last the year’ sets a significant precedent. The desperation and need for love running on a thread are clear- even though he seems to know the relationship is all but over, there is still something in him that wants to hold onto that person that offers him some sort of love back, however messed up it is.

The crying out for love in the song is right. Sadly, it is painfully misdirected. Love can be found in romantic relationships like the writer is longing for here, or amongst a caring family unit, or good friends. But so often, like the song here describes, that love is found wanting, ‘skinny’, not the entirely satisfying thing we thought it would be. As much as we might try to change it, or make it work, again like Bon Iver describes for us- ‘And I told you to be patient, And I told you to be fine, And I told you to be balanced, And I told you to be kind’ Our culture’s idea of love- romance, being constantly needed and wanted, material gifts, was never meant to completely satisfy us, and is radically different from the Bible’s definition on the subject.

‘This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.’ (1 John 4 v10)

Real love is God Himself, the Father showing his sacrificial, loving heart by giving us Jesus. We were never meant to be completely satisfied by just human relationships. We were meant to desire them, yes, and our human relationships are beautiful gifts of blessing from our loving Heavenly Father. But our ultimate fulfilment, our ultimate relational need can only come in and through Christ.

Bon Iver makes no attempt to hide his brokenness ‘And now all your love is wasted? And then who the hell was I? And now I’m breaking at the britches, And at the end of all your lines.’ So much of his identity has he poured out into this relationship that he is now breaking, questioning who he was, who he is. Again, this points us beautifully to the cross of Christ. This song reflects so much of the world around us- so often our identity is found in who we are going out with, what we do for a living, what we’ve achieved rather than who we actually are.  The Bible has another wonderfully radical viewpoint on this, telling us that our identity is found as children of God, set free by the precious cross of Jesus. It is the only identity which no one can take away from us. Relationships may break, careers may end and circumstances may change, but our adoption into the family of God stands forever.

‘See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!’ (1 John 3v 1)

The pain and emotion throughout this song are so striking. It is not hard to go away feeling like you have identified with Bon Iver, willing him to break away from a relationship which at once might have caused him happiness, but is now so evidently falling short, breaking him in the process. As a Christian, this song reminds me that so often I look for love and approval away from God, and that whilst that may bring me a temporary state of worth or happiness, ultimately it always falls short. My need for love and acceptance can only be found in Christ, whose love is anything but skinny and lacking, but the greatest love that has ever been shown to man. 

Human

Here is the first of Andrea's posts. Read and enjoy. Feel free to engage in discussion using the comments box.

What does it mean to be a human? Doesn’t seem like the first question you’d ask someone over the dinner table does it? Yet it’s something that surely, we all have an opinion on. What makes us who we are, what are the things that really matter, why do our lives work out the way they do? Do we really have any say in it? And it seems that The Killers are no different. In their single Human, they ask the question time and time again ‘Are we human or are we dancer?’

There seems to be a real search for freedom here from the songwriter. Do we actually have freedom, like humans are supposed to, or are we more like a dancer, being choreographed and having our strings pulled in a pre-decided direction like a puppet. He seems to be asking if it is actually possible to be truly free- ‘Up to the platform of surrender, I was brought but I was kind.’

There is a constant tension between the longing to be free, as though it seems like it’s in touching distance, but somehow still feeling controlled or under command. It’s a struggle that is so real in our world today. The things we think define our freedom- being able to do whatever we want whenever we want- choose our career and not being bound by society’s expectations, choosing our relationships and not being tied down to one person, choosing how to use and abuse our bodies, the people in our lives, everything in our world seems to point to the fact we are free. So why, so often, do people feel trapped? By money, sex, a circle of alcohol and drug abuse? Why is depression such a significant problem? Why, however far we run do we never seem to be free from the problems we are trying to escape from?

The Bible’s view on freedom is controversial.

‘If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.’ (John 8 v 36)

Jesus seems to be suggesting we need him to be truly free.  A few verses earlier he says it is ‘the truth which will set you free’ (v32). The truth that we were all made to be in relationship with God, which becomes possible by Jesus bridging the gap between our fallen-ness and God’s perfection. We are messed up, God is perfect, yet because of Jesus he chooses to welcome us home into his Heavenly arms.

Instead of feeling controlled like a puppet by the things around us, like the song-writer is alluding to here, we are instead restored to the only relationship which can ever give us full freedom, loved by a Father who always has our best interests at heart, and set free to just be as we are- unembarrassed by the fact we don’t have it all together, not plagued by guilt of things we’ve said or done, knowing that our status will never change and we are completely restored by Jesus.

The lyrics make the songwriter sound beaten in many ways ‘pay my respects to grace and virtue, send my condolences to good, give my regards to soul and romance they always did the best they could’-virtue, good, soul, romance-what might seem like the big, important, good things in life have done the best they could, but have still missed the mark. He seems resigned to the fact that there is no way of quite ‘getting there’, wherever there is. Whatever virtue, soul or romance promised, it didn’t quite deliver.

This song points wonderfully to a deeper longing, searching, almost desperation within all of us – ‘And I’m on my knees looking for the answer.’ One of his final cries ‘Will you dream of home tonight?’ points significantly to where his questions find their answer. Whatever home he is dreaming of in the song, all of his questions about freedom, and his longing for fulfilment that couldn’t be found in even the best things that life seemingly has to offer will only find rest in the home we all, whether we are aware of it or not, long for- heaven.

‘But our citizenship (home) is in heaven.’ (Philippians 3 v20)

Not a fluffy cloud in the sky, or an eternal church service filled with old people, but a restored relationship with a perfect Father, a closeness of relationship that we were always designed for, so we always long for, but so often don’t realise, or try and satisfy someplace else.

One of the most interesting things about this song is the feeling that at the end, the writer is no real closer to answering his questions on freedom and what it means to be a human than when he started. His thoughts seem to just lead him in one big circle back to the same problem- can I really know freedom?

It’s interesting how so often death is needed to bring freedom- World Wars, the right for everyone to vote, Apartheid. Great sacrifice is often required to bring freedom that we all long for. And the greatest freedom we could ever long for was no different. Death was needed. To win a war even greater than the World Wars, and for a law change even greater than racial discrimination. The death of Jesus, as a broken, wounded criminal, on a hill outside Jerusalem 2000 years ago, bought us ultimate freedom.

‘Therefore, my brothers and sisters, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Through him everyone who believes is set free from every sin…’ (Acts 13 v26/7)

Real freedom is being released from the sin that so often controls our lives. It’s looking to Jesus’ death, recognising the battle it won, and the law it fulfilled. As long as the writer of the song is controlled by sin, he may have moments he feels free, but my guess is for the most part, he will feel like a dancer, controlled by something he can never fully explain or get away from. His real search for freedom, and ours, will only come when we look to the greatest story, the greatest battle, and the greatest life-changer: Jesus.  

Back Soon

It's been a longer break in posting than I anticipated, but, Theolyrical will be back this month with two great guest posts from Andrea Bathgate.

Here's what Andrea has to say about herself:

Hi, I'm Andrea, a music graduate from the University of Huddersfield. I play the flute, the piano and sing and love listening to and making all sorts of music. I spent my last year as a Relay worker working with UCCF in Huddersfield where I had the joy and privilege of working with students, as well as spending time being trained and studying. As part of this I loved looking at what the Bible had to say about music and creativity, and thinking how music and lyrics so often point to a bigger picture of the world we are part of and I believe Jesus is Lord of. These are just some of my thoughts from the start of that journey. Hope you enjoy-feel free to comment and discuss! 

Andrea's posts will appear here on the 8th and 15th August.